March 13, 2005

The True Enemy

For those of you who don't know, I'm 38 years old. I'm not old enough to be called old, and I'm not old enough to be called young. I'm just now approaching my mid-life crisis, even though I'm nowhere near middle-aged (well, ok a little close). I am just now reaching a point in my life where things that were clear to me are now fuzzy, and things that were fuzzy are now clear; and while I didn't mean my eyesight, that applies too.
I have found the true enemy of man - it is Time. Or perhaps it is a sign of the times or the world in which we live that it has become such a pronounced enemy. There are so many things that I want to do, that I want to make time for, but there are not enough hours in the day. And each moment that I spend giving time to one pursuit, the rest of my pursuits slip away neglected.
I'm feeling this way because this weekend I spent a lot of time with my son. I love spending time with him. We went to play laser tag at LaserQuest near Potomac Mills mall. I always win (see scoresheet - I'm BlackHat - he's Ace), and he idolizes me begrudgingly. That's the part I like. The old man still has something on his son. I'm still the big guns in the family, and don't you forget it bub!
At the same time that we were at LaserQuest, at the movies (Robots), and walking 2 or 3 miles through the park today, things weren't getting taxes, piano practice, chess practice, badly needed blog redesign work, coding study, picture taking (well, ok I took some at the park), book reading, bill paying, research for new business, playing with the dog (we took him to the park too...), needed indoor repainting, needed outdoor repainting, and so on ad infinitum.
Do others feel the crunch of time as I do? Or am I poorly out of tune with what the world expects of me and I've become overly self-indulgent? The older I get, the more things I have to do, and the more un-completed things I leave behind. For each hobby I have kept over the years, there are numerous ones I've not garnered enough steam on starting. I look at what others have completed in less time on the earth than I, and I am sincerely jealous at their hard work and perserverance. If I had the focus and drive to be as successful as people like Michael Dell or Bill Gates, would I have the other good things in my life? Is it all a trade-off, and have I made the right trades?
Maybe I'm not approaching a mid-life crisis. Maybe I'm smack in the middle of one. As Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey said "Time is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves. We lose as much to life as we do to death." And Mason Cooley said, "Regret for wasted time is more wasted time." So I guess I'll stop wasting time and move on to the next task. Till tomorrow....

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